This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Jun. 24, 2003 at around 8:03 p.m.

What better to rejuvenate your career then poop?

From Brenna: Dear assclowns, I think I may have killed all the plants in my office. Should I deficate on my bosses desk?

Assclowns say: Well usually I'd say plants aren't much to get upset over but what the hell, give it a poop shoot.

I love Brenna.

This little piece of ass was written on Monday, Jun. 16, 2003 at around 1:48 p.m.

What a dumbass.

From Matthew: Dear Assclown, You're funny. Stop. How can I be a bitch like you. Stop. Stop. I am a man. Stop. ... Stop. I don't want to suck less but more. Stop. Tis me tis me. Stop. ... Stop

Assclowns say: Dear Matthew, you are gay. Stop. You already are a bitch so Stop. You are not a man. Stop. You are a retard. Stop.

Next.

This little piece of ass was written on Wednesday, Jun. 11, 2003 at around 3:40 p.m.

Brave people always leave their URL's

From Oz: How come you have such smart answers? don't you have anything else to do?

Assclowns say: Well between reading through the piles of shit from people like yourself and masturbating, it does get difficult to make time for answering questions in a smart-like fashion. Sometimes we just pretend to be smart, kind of like you are doing, see? It's real easy.

Pot calling the kettle black?

Don't be jealous, we know you just want our sweet asses.

This little piece of ass was written on Wednesday, Jun. 11, 2003 at around 2:39 p.m.

Because we are victims of evil Mother (bitch) Nature

From Nadia: Assclown, I have period cramps. Why must only females suffer?

Assclowns say: Our internal suffering allows us the right and priviledge of making men suffer at all possible times. It also gives us the right to be total and complete bitches and take it out on anyone and everyone who gets in our way and we can blame it on our uteruses. It's great, see? We can murder and mame and get away with it because we have cramps.

Next dumb question please.

This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Jun. 10, 2003 at around 4:54 p.m.

Are you sure thats how Martha meant it?

I love Brenna.

From Brenna: Dear Assclowns, I think I may have contracted crabs from the staff washroom. Should I confront my 65 year old boss about being a gay slut?

Assclowns say: Well first off, you need revenge. So scrape off some little crabbies and sneak them into his coffee. This will make you feel better for having your tackle all messed up thanks to that asshole. Now you go to your personnal people and tell them that he made sexual advances on you and forced you to touch his whoo whoo dilly and now you have crabs. They will investigate, find his crabs and award you with millions of dollars and you can go retire in Maui. Aren't you glad you got some little crab's now? It's a good thing.

This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Jun. 10, 2003 at around 2:05 p.m.

Forums rock!

We got a Forum, people! Awwwwwwww, yeeeeaaaayyy boooooy!
This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Jun. 10, 2003 at around 1:03 p.m.

Step one - stop being a whore

From Lashonta: i have an anal leakage problem. any suggestions?

Assclowns say: Stop letting random guys pound you in your ho ass. If that doesn't work, go see a doctor, your intenstines might be falling out.

This little piece of ass was written on Sunday, Jun. 8, 2003 at around 12:36 p.m.

Do you REALLY wanna go there?

From Emily: Assclown. You are sweet. please tell me about what you enjoy in your freetime.

Assclowns say:I enjoy shoving splintered broom handles up my ass all day. How about you?

Back That Thang Up * Do Me In The Butt

Spankin' New+ Old Ass+ Assbook+ Assmap+Ass Layout+Ass Behind the Assclowns+Diarrhealand

Disclaimer: You ask, I answer. It's that simple. If I hurt your feelings, I really don't care. It won't do any good to sue me because I have no money anyway.