This little piece of ass was written on Thursday, Jul. 10, 2003 at around 3:31 p.m.

We love Brenna

From Brenna: Dear Assclowns, I have more STD's than I can count. Do you think its time I start making a difference in this world and share them with the general population?

Assclowns say: Brenna-You should share that body with the world everyday. The STD's are just a little left over from some great Brenna lovin'. Go now, share them with the world!

This little piece of ass was written on Thursday, Jul. 10, 2003 at around 2:32 p.m.

And....

We need more info to answer this one. You have to explain how this person is an assclown and what they did. How else will we know what the appropriate punishment will should be?

From CheshirXCat: First of all I wanna say you guys are funny as hell. Now on with my question my neighbor is the biggest ass in the norther hemosphere and then some. I would love to get him back for all the crap he puts us through, what would you suggest?

This little piece of ass was written on Wednesday, Jul. 09, 2003 at around 2:43 p.m.

I wouldn't mind doing it to Britney though.

From Pengin: Okay, I have another question. My b/f is mexican and he likes to give/recieve a dirty sanchez durring sexual intercourse and I don't really like it. I've told him that before but he wont listen. What should I do?

Assclowns say: Well Pengin-I don't even know where to begin but I guess all I can say is if you don't like a finger in your ass and shit on your face then don't fuck him and vice versa for him. Goddamit people are fucking stupid.

This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Jul. 08, 2003 at around 2:27 p.m.

Dead babies are funny

From Anonymous: Dear Assclowns: I cheated on my husband and now I'm pregnant. What the fuck am I gonna do?

Assclowns say: This question has about a thousand issues compounded on top of each other. And this isn't a laughing matter either. If you are serious, you need to go see a couselor or priest, not asking Assclowns for advice. So, we will just assume this is a joke and say that you are sick fucking bitch. Get a life. It's not funny to joke around when it comes to unborn children. Unless of course we are talking about abortion. Abortion is funny.

This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Jul. 08, 2003 at around 1:17 p.m.

How many names are there for it?

From Pengin: What is the "Meatus?"

Assclowns say: Well Pengin, it's what your tackle and berries are often referred to as. Do you ride the short bus?

This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Jul. 08, 2003 at around 2:09 p.m.

Bow down, you reject

From Mooncrack: I don't really have a question. My friends sent me here, they linked you, in fact. But I think I'll link you too, because you're funny. Keep assclownin' or whatever you call what you're doing, because it's funny.

Assclowns say: Did we say you could laugh, bitch?

This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Jul. 08, 2003 at around 2:09 p.m.

The rednecks are at it again

From BigPatty: Hey assclown, sometimes my kids gets me confused for their dad, but I am really their mom. I look kinda like a man and wear nasty clothes that let my gut hang out. What should I do?

Assclowns say: Sounds to us like you have typical redneck problems. You are a huge bitch that looks like a man. Your husband likes burly women. And your kids are too fucking stupid to know the difference between a penis and a vagina. Our advice is to, first, beat your children. And do it mostly in public, so everyone can see what good parents you are. Then prepare yourself for some more inbred stupid fuckass grandbabies, because your kids will be fuckin' each other soon enough.

This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Jul. 08, 2003 at around 2:03 p.m.

We hope you choke on the pussy

From Tamzin: Hey ass clowns, I am very attracted to one of my friends. She is from a 3rd world country (Brazil)and has all kinds of STDs should I go ahead and eat her out?

Assclowns say: Yeah. And I hope you die with swollen fungus infested lips and nostils from suffocation for asking such a retarded fucking question.

Back That Thang Up * Do Me In The Butt

Spankin' New+ Old Ass+ Assbook+ Assmap+Ass Layout+Ass Behind the Assclowns+Diarrhealand

Disclaimer: You ask, I answer. It's that simple. If I hurt your feelings, I really don't care. It won't do any good to sue me because I have no money anyway.