| This little piece of
ass was written on Monday, Aug. 04, 2003 at around 12:11 p.m. |
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I'd probably Dirty Sanchez him but then you have to get a poopy finger also. |
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From Shelly: I have thick toe hair and its very sensitive. My boy friend likes to pull it during intercourse what should I do?
 Assclowns say: Try pulling the hair on his balls real hard and see if he likes it. Or my fav is always the "The Dirty Pull". Pull his asshole hairs... he'll leave your toes alone.
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| This little piece of
ass was written on Monday, Aug. 04, 2003 at around 12:10 p.m. |
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That's going too far...geez.... |
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From Steveho: these bitches are drivin' me crazy. i live and work in a cubicle and the only loving I get is from sniffing granny pantys. how can i score some real nookie?
Assclowns say: Have you never heard of little girls? They don't know any better, like how you are a sick mother fucker.
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| This little piece of
ass was written on Monday, Aug. 04, 2003 at around 12:07 p.m. |
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Does anyone know what condoms are? |
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From Dixieshits: I have no life. I cannot stop myself from posting every few minutes, all day and night, at the Paradise Hotel boards on Fox Networks. Don't matter what the question is, fleas on babies, hoaxes by crickets, mean people sucking or even the dumb show, I feel compelled to sound off. My welfare worker and ten kids are getting pissed with me because I'm too busy to heat up the spam. I'm addicted.
Assclowns say: Come on it can't be that bad, Spam only takes a few minutes to heat. Have one of those little bastards work the stove..it is a gas stove right? Yeah cuz you might be lucky if there was an "accident" and you were left with one less.
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| This little piece of
ass was written on Monday, Aug. 04, 2003 at around 12:03 p.m. |
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Everybody knows that boy....goddamn. |
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From Rachel: I'm an art teacher, and one of my fellow art teachers have started hitting on me. How do I tell him he's a buttwipe and to just fuck the hell off??
Assclowns say: Does he have any money? Have you atleast tried to get some goods out of this flirtation before you just shrug him off? Plus if he's an art teacher and not gay count yourself lucky and just go for it sister. Have we women lost our senses? God gave us tits to get stuff from dumbass men.
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| This little piece of
ass was written on Wednesday, Jul. 30, 2003 at around 12:51 p.m. |
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South Park has the answers for EVERYTHING! |
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From Marie: my brother is always raggin' on me, he's done it since we were kids and we are friggin' 25 now! i'm sick of it, but then when i get upset and yell, i look like the crazy one! i can't win. but i want to rip his balls off sometimes he makes me so mad. i just want him to treat me like a normal person and a SISTER for once.
Assclowns say: You need to snatch his ass up in a bear trap and leave him hanging there for a few days, that will learn his ass some respect. Then he won't mess with you ever again. Fear and respect they just go hand in hand.
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| This little piece of
ass was written on Monday, Jul. 28, 2003 at around 6:53 p.m. |
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Not all customers are satisfied. Shucks. |
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Assclowns say: To the recent unsatified customers - Frankie, Trey, and Jesyka - thanks for reading and we appreciate your opinion. Howevever, we can not fulfill your requests at this time. Come again. P.S. This should be obvious, but it sometimes needs repeating: If ya don't like it, don't read it!
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| This little piece of
ass was written on Saturday, Jul. 26, 2003 at around 3:56 p.m. |
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Yet another example of why the kids that ride the short bus shouldn't be allowed to leave their houses. |
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From Murry: Dear Assclowns: I like to have my way with me dog, but I dont think he likes it should I just drug him to make it easier or smear female dog jizz on my dick?
Assclowns say: Well Murry, I say no let's not rape the dog. Why don't you just molest him with some peanut butter on your dick? Then you get off and he gets to eat yummy peanut butter? It's a WIN WIN situation! But really, I hope he eats your dick off, then shits it out on your favorite bedspread. Next.
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| This little piece of
ass was written on Wednesday, Jul. 23, 2003 at around 3:57 p.m. |
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Not even worth the breath |
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From Harry Peter: My vagina lips are stuck together and it stings when I pee. I think my boyfriend may have super glued them together. I dont think he likes my kinky sex. I think some of the glue rolled down to my anal passage because when I take a dump it splits into 2 turds? Should I press charges? Assclowns say: DIE.
Back That Thang Up *
Do Me In The Butt |
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Spankin' New+
Old
Ass+
Assbook+
Assmap+Ass Layout+Ass Behind the Assclowns+Diarrhealand |
Disclaimer: You ask, I answer. It's that simple.
If I hurt your feelings, I really don't care.
It won't do any good to sue me because I have no money anyway.
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