This little piece of ass was written on Monday, Sept. 15, 2003 at around 1:13 p.m.

This is elementary stuff..CUM ON!

From Woody: I also experience bouts of impotency, is that unusual?

Assclowns say: Well when you jerk it 10 times a day obviously shit is gonna not work right. Stop masterbating and go get laid, you won't be as horney because sex it better then spanking it.

This little piece of ass was written on Monday, Sept. 15, 2003 at around 1:11 p.m.

Why would you ever want to kill that?

From Woody: Dear Assclowns, What steps can I take to successfully overcome my debilitating masturbation addiction? It takes up hours of my day, everyday. It�s really becoming a major problem and I just can�t seem to stop.

Assclowns say: So..a..where do you live? High sex drive, I like that.

This little piece of ass was written on Monday, Sept. 15, 2003 at around 12:43 p.m.

There is no pleasing you.

From Jooge: so i heard that guys from holland are weird...you know, they like smokes and pankcakes. in other news, i like gay men alot. i am a girl and like gay men. i like them more than straight men. why am i still single?

Assclowns say: I think the real question is why the fuck am I wasting my time reading this crap? Ok so you want an answer..because you are whats known as a hag in the gay world. You like to hang out with gay rods because they treat you better the any straight man would, you can talk to them about anything and they always are hot. Who the fuck wouldn't be attracted to gay men? But I gotta tell you that you aren't going to get anywhere with them unless you get anywhere with them unless you "boy" yourself up A LOT and get them super pessed or maybe use some roofies and then you'd have to butt rape them which would be impossible because you don't have a dick. Wait what was the question again? Oh yeah, you're just fucking retarded. Yeah that's what I wanted to say.

This little piece of ass was written on Friday, Sept. 05, 2003 at around 11:43 a.m.

Fucking masterbating perverts

From Ren: why does kenny always die? was he bad?

Assclowns say: Kenny dies because you touch your who-who-dilly at night.

This little piece of ass was written on Friday, Sept. 05, 2003 at around 11:42 a.m.

And don't be afraid to kick the guy squaw in the nards

From No Name: When someone calls me jailbait, am I supposed to be offended or proud?

Assclowns say: Neither. You should be scared that some old man is even thinking those thoughts about you and you should run away. Far far away. And stop dressing like a whore.

This little piece of ass was written on Friday, Sept. 05, 2003 at around 11:38 a.m.

Welcome to the Craaaaaaaab SHACK!

From Brennass: Dear Assclowns, I see in my absense there has been a surplus of retards coming to you with thier retard problems. Now, I come to you as a friend for advice. Do you think I should get treatment for my 24 STD's or just accept that being ridden with STD's makes me unique? I would like to open up my home to welcome more STD's ridden whores. I will call it "Brenna's crab shack".

Assclowns say: That is the most awesome idea ever. Go for it.

This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Sept. 02, 2003 at around 12:59 p.m.

Such a waste of a Toaster Strudel.

From Gerald: Do u like Toaster Strudel? And if so, what kind is your fav?

Assclowns say: The kind I can toast myself from the flames shooting off your body after I set your dumbass on fire for asking such a dumb fucking question.

This little piece of ass was written on Tuesday, Sept. 02, 2003 at around 12:58 p.m.

They flock together

From Pengin: Do u also agree that Luvlee@CUnt is a cum drinking scum bag?

Assclowns say: So you know her personally then? Yup I thought so.

This little piece of ass was written on Monday, Aug. 25, 2003 at around 3:17 p.m.

You are so banned, you fucking dumbass

From Luvlee@CUnt: Dear assclowns, I'm *confused*, no, wait- I think I'm *retarded*. In any case I don't understand this thing called property value. My real estate agent won't sell me a house that was purchased in 1990 for $94,000.00 for the same price! She says it's because that was 13 years ago, and the property value has gone up, and now that same house is worth more than four times as much! Have you ever heard of anything so absurd? What do I know? -in 1990 I could only dream of having $100,000. to buy a house with. Back then I was still letting my "pet" Rats lick peanut butter off of my meat flaps for pleasure. Now I have my dirty Scotsman boyfriend do it for me. (Well, sometimes I still play with the rats- but that's *our* little secret).

Assclowns say: For the last time, FUCK OFF, you stupid bitch. Leave us the fuck alone. You are not funny or the slightest bit entertaining. Get a life or go kill yourself, something, anything, just leave us alone, you fucking retard!

Back That Thang Up * Do Me In The Butt

Spankin' New+ Old Ass+ Assbook+ Assmap+Ass Layout+Ass Behind the Assclowns+Diarrhealand

Disclaimer: You ask, I answer. It's that simple. If I hurt your feelings, I really don't care. It won't do any good to sue me because I have no money anyway.